So I just figured out a new focus for this site, which will include me recording my writing process so people who are trying to figure out their own process can see how someone else is doing it. I’ll go into more detail about things like submitting poetry in individual posts, but will keep short notes about what I’m doing on particular days to track my own progress.

Monday

Wrote blog post while Cavanaugh had quiet time–about writing while he had quiet time

Tuesday (first day of part-time nanny)

• Went through all returned submissions
• Updated Need to Go Out file
• Updated submission calendar
• Submitted poems to one journal
• Went to see Wicked the Musical. Watching solos by both Elphaba’s and Glinda’s character got me thinking about creativity and performance. I miss slamming and being on stage performing my work, even though I usually have terrible stage fright.

Wednesday

• No quiet time so no daytime writing
• Tried to work on guest post for another blog. The style of writing required is very different from what I’ve been doing. Am I psyching myself out, is the writing really going in the wrong direction, or am I just too tired by nighttime to stretch my brain this much?

Thursday

• Sent email to editor of online publication where I’m about to start a monthly column on the challenges of motherhood
• Arrived home and Cavanaugh still wasn’t asleep. Got him to bed. Watched TV shows via netflix while updating categories and tags on my blog, fewer categories, more tags

Friday

Second day of nanny. I felt antsy and unable to focus. I started thinking about what our nanny is getting paid to be with Cavanaugh and that I’m not getting paid to write. Though I’m aware that the way I’m going to make a writing career is by writing, and getting publications and clips, all the critical voices in my head are so loud. I know plenty of people who have childcare so they can get a break, go out to lunch with a friend, go to the gym, make art, etc., I’m having a hard time giving myself permission to have help with Cavanaugh so I can do whatever I want or need to. I cleaned the dining room and got other household stuff done but no writing or business of writing. I felt like I’d failed. No pressure there.

Saturday

Went to see Flush and totally rethought website. Now to make changes.